Ode to my husband

This is the end, my dear

Of you and me together as we

I don’t know if you even felt that about me

I am protesting now, see. Would you have that from me?

I wish you were a better man

I wish you were a better husband

I wish you were a better father

I wish you were all those things

Before it was too late

But even if you couldn’t be all of those

Could you not be a good human being atleast?

They say love can move mountains

Was my love not enough?

Were we ever in love?

Did we even have a marriage?

Maybe it was all an ugly display

That has turned into ruin now

Do I laugh or cry?

At this deliverance and solitude.

Forbidden fruit

There’s something so dreamy about you. You’re my forbidden fruit.

You’re poetry and mystery. You’re an abyss I shouldn’t step into.

But you make my heart and soul ache. Only once in a while, I yearn to be set ablaze in your flame

But I’ve drowned, and roamed the thorny pathways. I yearn and then pay an aching price. So I dare not light a spark now

I’m in no Eden, but if I fall still, I’ll never recover and that’d be the end of me, my forbidden fruit.

Rant – to what end?

He is a classic lunatic. A toxic person that you should stay as far away as possible. The kind that enrages every happy occasion. The kind that ruins every plan. A classic selfish narcissist that deserves no one to love or care for him.

People are hypocrites. Everyone lies. At some point we’ve all been there. We all know atleast one nutcase in our lives who doesn’t deserve a family. And yet we lie and lure someone in to care for him. Someone else to take up our responsibility so we can move on, or move away from all the toxicity. But to what result?

An aggressive parent brings up aggressive children. An insecure person breeds lots of insecurities in children. And the cycle continues. More nutcases to ruin more families. To what end, I ask. To what end?

Image by Raph Howald

The first day is the worst

Image by Aaron Burden

It was a long day, today! And finally its nighttime, 11:23pm to be precise, 37 minutes before it’s officially over.

And the first day is the worst, right?

I have all the reason to believe that tomorrow will be a better day?

Am I living a deja vu? Are my years on a loop? Last year this time I had lost. It took me a year to gather my bits that are now floating in a vacuum. Oh I see them.

No matter what happens, I’ll never hate you Autumn. So what if you split things, you didn’t choose the Nature, you already carry too much pain. I forgive you. Until again, I’ll start collecting my bits all over again.

The Forest

Image by Alessio Lin

Don’t wander off, dear heart

Not in the forbidden part of Forest

Not in the places familiar

The fog that still feels warm

Don’t wander off, dear heart

Don’t chase the dragonflies

And try to catch them

What once belonged doesn’t anymore

Focus, old friend

Don’t look for the maze to get lost

What doesn’t belong is free to fly

So fly to the infinite Land, and don’t wander off.

Bankruptcy 

Image by Danilo Batista

When I had nothing left to lose,

Then I walked the Earth bare feet 

When I had no spectacle to behold,

Then I witnessed the sky with naked eyes

When I had no complaints to make,

Then I embraced the mercy of God

I had to be a bankrupt,

To be eternally enriched.