Not like the stars that shine every night, not like the sun that rises everyday, but like a drop that falls in an ocean, or like a grain that falls in a terrain. Once and for all, lost forever.
There are two expressions of love, she said. Either you lock the flower in seclusion, that way you get to worship its beauty and sink in its love everyday whole day, or you watch it grow away from you, in its roots, in its entirety. You bear the anxiety of separation and jubilance of union each day anew, and watch it grow petal by petal eventually fading into a vacant stem.
The problem is, my friend, most people are only familiar with the former.
PC: BossFight, City Night
Life feels like a race. Stepping outside university premises is like heading to a race I didn’t prepare myself for. Everyone’s running, not sure if everyone knows what they’re running for.
But they’re, anyway.
Running is the norm here. Nobody thinks before punching in, they just do. Because if they do think then how come everyone wants the same thing? How come everyone is running in the same race?
So anyway this is important. The idea of rejecting this norm appears downright outrageous and somewhat frightening.
So now the problem is I dont know what to run for.
Sure I want things in life, but I dont want to forget everything else in doing so. I dont want to turn a blind eye to the moment, in pursuit of future. Inshort Im not ready for the momentum. The system intimidates me.
Is the pause worth the time?
I don’t know.
But I do know that I want to slow down, just for a little while.
I want to lay in bed and watch out of a window.
I want to read and write, and observe the change in season.
I want to enjoy a good movie with family, and have fun with friends.
But I also have this fear looming over my head, the fear of being left out in the race of life.
Of looking at myself, ten years from now and being disappointed in my choices.
I don’t think the fear is ever going away. But I’m going to take the risk anyway.
I hope if I read this ten years from now, I’ve achieved atleast something in life. I hope I’m somebody I look up to, and that I still appreciate life, and I’m glad that I took this time out to observe and absorb the moment before everything changes for good.