Well my friends call me a mind-boggler and aptly so.
When life brings you to crossroads and the outside world shakes your identity, you’ve got to stick to the bare minimum and survive.
So did I.
I had to shed all that was extravagant and handpick the bare minimum for myself. It was then that I decided to start a journey to seek the elements which form me, and perhaps later acquire a more profound realisation of self.
This is the beginning of my journey.
A lost friend.
Like a child recklessly losing the cool shade of a plum tree on a warm sunny day; from its safe cradle to taking the outlandish sun face to face.
But isn’t that life? A constant flux of shadows and sunshine.
This is just a humble effort to nurture similar shade for the sunshines that tomorrow might unfold.
Fall and early mornings have one thing in common, things are purest, in their most raw form during this time. And what is more beautiful than seeing someone and something naked; layered in nothing but their skin?
When I was a child, I participated in a race. Before I could cross the finish line, I fell. I gathered myself and pledged that I’ll never run again.
The fear never left me. Whenever I had to run, I did it half heartedly, told myself that I’m above the race.
That until, I was in one, and I could see the finish line. I could almost touch it, I was this close. A few more steps would have tripped me on the other side. But falling has somewhat become my thing. Ran out of luck just a few steps short of finish line.
Only this time, I won’t pledge to stop. This time I’ll gather myself and start where I left off. This time I’ll cross the finish line.
A few days back I was watching an episode about how to survive deadly encounters in life. One of the scenarios included being trapped in a car, that falls off a water bridge into the sea.
So in the first attempt, the man recklessly tries to battle the outside pressure. Hysterical, almost mindlessly battling the inevitable. Needless to say his efforts fail, in his mania, not only does he lock himself inside but runs out of body reserves sooner, thus failing to survive.
Upon contemplating the essence of the scenario, he realises that it takes about 1.5 minutes for the pressure inside the car to equalise with external pressure after which he can simply open the car door and swim to the surface.
So with this knowledge in hand, he now takes a second chance at it. Once the car falls in water, he calmly watches the seconds. Intentionally slowing his heart rate and holding his breath. Once the pressure equalises, he opens the door and uses all his remaining strength to make it to the surface.
While the scenario applies to a car crash, I wonder if that’s applicable to a crashing life as well. If all you have to do is not madly, almost mindlessly try to hold all parts together. If you can calm your senses, and wait for this inevitable pressure to stop compressing you. Then you can simple open the door, and escape out of it. Since the pressures are bound to equalise in time, right? I mean, That’s the law!
There are two expressions of love, she said. Either you lock the flower in seclusion, that way you get to worship its beauty and sink in its love everyday whole day, or you watch it grow away from you, in its roots, in its entirety. You bear the anxiety of separation and jubilance of union each day anew, and watch it grow petal by petal eventually fading into a vacant stem.
The problem is, my friend, most people are only familiar with the former.